Greetings, one and all.

Bonjour. Guten Tag. Konichiwa, if you frickin' well will. I'm Bob. Isn't that a brilliant name? Some say it's the epitome of excellence, a moniker of utmost manliness, the nom de la creme. Others say it's ruddy silly. I like both opinions, although I would find it much harder to masturbate over the latter. I digress.

I decided to create this sweet little blog that you are currently laying your precious and small eyes upon out of the need to publicise my daily thoughts and experiences. That's a downright lie, but that is most likely what it's going to be used for. Once or twice, it may be used to tell an emotionally powerful tale, with a strong moral and a host of lovable and hilarious characters at its core; but for the most-time, you're going to be reading an equivocal jumble of all things nonsensical and generally shite. That's if I bother to keep it up that is. Hopefully I won't resort to abandoning it like I had to with dear old Petville, whose ever growings needs and requirements I simply could no longer fulfill. *Sigh*. I actually lied again back there, I don't really care if this blog ends up going to heck, I'll probably just take my things and move on. Maybe a tear will be shed, just maybe. As you've probably guessed by now, there is no concrete aim of this first blog post. Having said that, there are a number of things that I hope you take away after reading it, such as hope, a restored faith in humanity, and maybe a slight sense of sexual arousal. I'm certainly getting all three whilst writing it, but I appreciate that it may be too much to ask of you readers, so I'll be happy with two out of three.

I'll finish this post on a joke:

How did the chicken live forever?

By getting cryo-hen-ically frozen.

Made that up. Good, huh? Huh? HUH?! I SAID HUHHHH! D: